Your child’s 18th birthday is a significant milestone. Where did your baby go? It also comes with a host of changes, responsibilities and legal implications. Understanding these is important for both parents and their young adult children.
Life playing out can often feel different to what it was imagined to be. Growing up can often feel like a branching narrative for both parent and child, full of multiple endings and different challenges.
Turning 18 can mean different things to different people. Contrary to pop culture belief, for some kids, turning 18 doesn’t really change much about their lives. The big change comes later when they move out of home and get married. For others, gap years and backpacking signify a chance to spread their wings and experience the world.
What legal adult status means
Turning 18 years old means your child is now considered a legal adult. For some kids, it feels like the ultimate freedom. However, while not a lot may change in their daily activities, there are a range of new rights and responsibilities that can impact on various aspects of their life.
Parental consent
As legal adults, young people now have the right to make their own decisions without parental consent. This includes medical decisions, signing contracts and voting. For some young adults, the wide range of decisions to make can feel overwhelming and they will need guidance. However, remember they do need to learn how to think for themselves and be independent, without relying on you to do their thinking for them.
Supported decision making
While they now have the right to make their own decisions, offering guidance and support remains important. If they have friends or peers who are a positive influence, encourage your child to take advice from them too. Your child may not always do things the way you would, and they will most likely make mistakes. Encourage them to learn from them, and not get trapped in shame mindsets or cycles of repeating bad choices.
While your child is growing up, allow them opportunities to think, explore and ask questions, instead of always telling them what to do and how to do it. Studies show that parents who have nurtured and provided an environment of wholistic child care for their children are more likely to raise young adults who struggle less with life meaning, purpose and belonging.
Living arrangements
Many 18-year-olds continue living at home while attending university or starting a job. Establish clear expectations regarding rent, chores and other responsibilities. For some families, not a lot may change from what it was like when they were growing up. For others, it may if your child wants to start doing certain things you don’t permit in your home.
If they decide to move out, guide them through finding a suitable place, budgeting for rent and utilities, and understanding tenant rights. With the rapid social change and economic challenges, many young adults can struggle and have to move back to the family home. This can be challenging for both parents and child. Set boundaries and ensure healthy communication while researching alternate options.
Bank account and credit cards
Achieving financial independence is a significant part of adulthood. At 18, your child can open their own bank account without needing a parent’s permission. Understanding banking basics and how to responsibly manage their finances should have started well before they turn 18. They must know about credit scores, interest rates and responsible spending to avoid debt and falling back on you to bail them out.
Budgeting and saving
Teach and practise this throughout their childhood so it sinks in by the time they get their own money. Help them make a budget to account for items such as expenses, rent, food, entertainment and bills. It’s also important they create an emergency savings fund so they don’t come crying to you when there is an unexpected big expense.
Driving
If your child isn’t already driving, and even if they may think they would never need a car, knowing how to drive is still a good skill to possess. Teach them how to look after a car as well.
Organ donor register
Consider encouraging them to register as an organ donor if they want to be involved. They can also opt-in when applying for a driver’s licence.
Full-time job or further study
The end of high school often involves challenging exams. After that, some young adults may choose to continue studying or pursue an apprenticeship. Support them in choosing the courses and encouraging their aspirations. Discuss available loan options for further study and their implications.
Whether they are seeking full-time employment or further studies, discuss career goals and the importance of balancing work with personal life throughout their teens and young adult years. They may need time to figure out big decisions like which university degree to study or job to go for. Try not to make this more stressful for them. Encouragement is important while not overwhelming them.
Taxes
Your child would already have a tax file number if they have a part-time job. If not, this is the time to get a tax file number. They should also understand their tax obligations.
Superannuation
This is required by law and it’s important to help your child set it up, if they haven’t already done so. If your child has had multiple jobs, consider helping them consolidate their super accounts to avoid paying multiple fees.
Health insurance
Even with a national health insurance scheme (such as Medicare), ensure they understand the role of private health insurance.
Health care card
If your child is signing up for government payments, they may also be eligible for a health care card. This allows for bulk billing treatments, discounted medical prescriptions and other concessions.
Medical care
Young adults can make their own medical decisions, so it’s crucial to discuss the importance of routine check-ups and health care.
NDIS
If your child has a NDIS plan, it will need to be adjusted to reflect them as an adult NDIS participant.
Allow for a gap year
Kids graduating high school often like to take a gap year, travel the world, backpack or volunteer. It’s a great way to see and experience invaluable life lessons. They may even learn new skills which are not only fun, but useful later in life. Work through with them the things they need to be aware of before they embark on their adventure.
Maintain friendships
Help your child maintain the friendships they have created when growing up. Give them guidance on how to build new networks. Your child needs a healthy, supportive community, not only for their professional development but their wellbeing as well. Research by the Australian Institute of Family Studies shows that children and young adults who engage in healthy social behaviours dramatically improve their chances of having good mental health, compared to those who don’t.
Growing up is a big deal
Your kid turning 18 is a big deal, probably more so for your child than for you. They have finally arrived at the destination on the journey of growing up. While the reality is there are plenty more they need to learn and grow, and bigger milestones ahead, allow them to revel in the concept of finally being an adult.
Adulthood comes with a lot of new responsibilities and rights, and that’s a good thing. You want your child to grow up and be a responsible adult who can stand on their own two feet, making a difference in the world.
However, they will still need you—just perhaps not as much as they did while growing up. Your love and respect will be crucially important to them no matter what age they are.
Read next: What I learned from hiring my 13-year-old son
