Who will care for your kids if the worst happens? Discover how to choose a legal guardian and protect your children’s future with confidence.
There are some parenting jobs nobody warns you about.
Packing lunches? Sure. Navigating toddler tantrums in the middle of the supermarket? Absolutely. Learning how to remove mystery stains from everything you own? That’s a given right?
But deciding who would raise your children if something happened to you? That’s a zone we don’t like to even think about.
It’s one of the biggest parenting decisions you’ll ever have to make and one that most of us avoid thinking about for as long as possible. After all, no parent wants to imagine a world where they’re not there for school pick-ups, bedtime stories, sports days, first heartbreaks, graduations and all the little moments in between. Then there are some of us who think if we plan for it, it just might happen, so better not to think about it at all.
The insurance plan for your children
Planning for the unexpected isn’t about being negative or somehow inviting bad things to happen. It’s about making sure your children are protected, no matter what life throws your family’s way. It’s about being prepared, so you can stop worrying about the “what ifs” and instead be more present, more confident and more at peace.
Think of it like having car insurance. Nobody buys it because they’re planning to crash the car. They buy it because life can be unpredictable.
The same goes for having a plan for your children. If something happened to you tomorrow, would the people you trust know what to do? Would they know who should care for your children? Would they know where your important documents are? Would they have access to the information they need?
If your answer is “I’m not sure” or “I really should sort that out”, let me tell you you’re not alone.
So, here’s everything you need to know to make sure your children are cared for and supported should anything happen to you. Get it sorted, get it out of the way and get back to enjoying everyday life with the peace of mind that you’ve planned for the unexpected.
1. First things first: Choose an appointed guardian
When there is a situation involving a deceased parent, decisions about the care of minor children can become complex, both emotionally and legally. In many cases, the surviving parent or biological parent will have an automatic right to take on care, supported by their existing parental rights and legal right under the Family Law Act.
However, if there is uncertainty or disagreement, a court order may be required to formally appoint a legal guardian or recognise a designated guardian. Throughout this process, the priority remains the wellbeing of the bereaved child, including their emotional needs and access to appropriate social care, with arrangements typically continuing until they reach 18 years.
That’s a lot to take in. So, if you only do one thing after reading this, make it this.
Who would raise your children if you couldn’t? It’s one of the toughest decisions, but it has to be done. Most people immediately think of close family members, a sibling, a cousin or a grandparent. Others may have close friends who feel more like family than blood relatives ever could.
The truth is, there isn’t a perfect choice. The right guardian is the person who would love your children, provide stability and make decisions in their best interests.
When considering a guardian, ask yourself:
- Does this person genuinely enjoy spending time with my children?
- Do they share similar values and a similar parenting style?
- Would my children feel safe and comfortable with them?
- Could they manage the practical side of raising children?
- Are they emotionally and financially stable?
- Would they support my children’s relationship with other family members?
You should also think about your children’s ages. The needs of toddlers, school-aged children, teenagers and young adults can be very different.
Don’t just assume they’ll say yes. This is the part many parents skip. You might have someone in mind, but have you actually asked them? Being a child’s guardian is a huge responsibility.
Have an honest conversation about:
- What caring for your children would involve
- Your hopes for their education
- Religious beliefs or family traditions that matter to you
- Financial provision for your children’s future
- Your expectations around contact with extended family
It can feel awkward at first, but most people would rather know your wishes now than be surprised during an already difficult time.
While you’re at it, choose a backup guardian too. Life happens. The person you choose today may not be able to take on the role in 10 or 15 years.
2. Make it official with a will
Many parents assume that if they’ve told family members what they want, that’s enough. Unfortunately, it’s not. Your wishes should be recorded in legal documents, including a valid will.
Your will allows you to nominate a testamentary guardian and appoint an executor to manage your estate. Without a will, decisions may be left to the court, which can create additional stress, delays and uncertainty for your loved ones.
The Family Court will always consider the child’s best interests, but documenting your wishes gives important guidance if questions ever arise. Getting legal advice is one of the best investments parents can make to ensure all of these very important decisions get done right and thoroughly.
3. Understand the difference between a guardian and an executor
These roles are often confused. A guardian raises your children, while an executor manages your estate. Both are key people in your plan, so it’s important to be transparent and open with them to ensure they can carry out their responsibilities properly.
Your executor plays an important role in managing your estate, including handling the legal implications that arise after your death:
- Managing assets (the family home, cars, etc).
- Closing bank account facilities
- Contacting financial institutions
- Dealing with insurance companies
- Administering your deceased estate
- Paying debts and funeral expenses
- Distributing assets according to your wishes
The same person can do both jobs, but they don’t have to. In fact, a lot of parents choose to split these responsibilities. Your executor could be a close friend or family member who’s good with paperwork and finances, while your guardian is the person you trust to raise your children.
Rather than asking one person to do everything, it’s often better to spread the responsibility between two people you trust. It makes the job less overwhelming and lets each person focus on the role they’re best suited to.
3. Create a “just in case” folder
Imagine your chosen guardian suddenly needed to step into your shoes. What would they need to know? Creating a simple folder containing important information can save enormous stress. Include:
- Birth certificates
- Medicare details
- Passport information
- School contacts
- Childcare information
- Medical history
- Allergies
- Medications
- Health insurance details
- Emergency contacts
- Copies of legal documents
- Life insurance policies
- Banking information
- Password instructions
- Contact details for your solicitor and accountant
Keep everything in one secure location and make sure a trusted person knows where it is.
4. Leave a letter for your children
This isn’t a legal requirement. It’s just something many parents find comforting.
Write a letter to each child. Tell them what you love about them. Share your hopes for their future. Tell them family stories they may not remember.
Leave advice, encouragement, funny memories and reminders of how deeply they were loved.
5. Think beyond the practical stuff
Children need more than a roof over their heads. They need continuity. Think about the little things that make up their world:
- Favourite routines
- Family traditions
- Birthday celebrations
- School friendships
- Sporting commitments
- Religious beliefs
- Holiday traditions
- Special relationships with grandparents, cousins, and close friends
Leave notes for your guardian about what matters most. These details help preserve a sense of normality during a time of enormous change.
6. Make sure there is financial support
Raising children is expensive. Review your:
- Life insurance
- Superannuation beneficiaries
- Savings accounts
- Investments
- Testamentary trust options
- Estate planning arrangements
The goal isn’t to leave your children wealthy. It’s to ensure they have financial support for education, healthcare, housing and everyday needs.
If death is expected
In situations involving palliative care or end-of-life care, families often have time to organise practical matters. This may include:
- Updating legal documents
- Discussing funeral arrangements
- Recording special requests
- Speaking with medical professionals
- Reviewing financial arrangements
While these conversations are never easy, they can reduce uncertainty for family members later.
Of course, there are the more sensitive areas of actually preparing your kids for the time when they won’t have you with them. One of the most important things you can do is help children feel as safe, supported and included as possible.
Every child responds differently, but being honest, reassuring and keeping familiar routines where you can often helps them cope.
This might include:
- Talking to your children in an age-appropriate way about what’s happening.
- Giving them opportunities to spend meaningful time with you, if possible.
- Creating lasting memories through photos, videos, letters, handprints or keepsakes.
- Recording stories, family history, favourite recipes or special messages for birthdays, graduations and other milestones.
- Letting trusted family members, teachers or close friends know what’s happening so they can provide extra support.
- Discussing with them who will care for them and helping them build familiarity with that person, as much as possible.
- Keeping important family information organised so those caring for your children know their routines, preferences, medical needs, friendships and the little things that help them feel secure.
None of these conversations are easy and there is no perfect way to prepare. But taking small steps now can provide children with comfort, stability and a stronger sense of security during one of the hardest times they’ll ever experience.
The best gift isn’t money
When people think about estate planning, they often focus on money. But if there was one pressing parental responsibility, it’s making sure your sweet babies are taken care of if you’re not here.
For children, what matters most is security. Knowing who will care for them. Knowing where they’ll live. Knowing the adults around them have a plan. It’s in your children’s best interest that you make these decisions now, to save stress later.
None of us can control what happens tomorrow. But we can make things a little easier for the people we love most.
While it may not be the most enjoyable item on your parenting to-do list, creating a plan for your children is one of the most caring, responsible and loving things you’ll ever do.
Read next: How to explain death to a child
Any information discussed is for educational and informational purposes only. It should not be taken as professional financial, investment or legal advice. Always do your own research or consult with a certified professional before making any financial decisions.
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