Unimpressed with the original “Rules for dating my son” meme below, one mum decided to write her own.

Rules for dating my son: Original version

  1. He is not your ATM.
  2. If you show up to my house looking like a stripper, I will make you go away.
  3. If I see any “sexts” on his phone, I will make you go away.
  4. Understand that if I don’t like you, I will make you go away.
  5. Understand that I can make you go away.
  6. He’s a “Mama’s Boy”. Unless you have a ring on your finger, your opinion of that does not matter.
  7. You are not in charge of him and it is not up to you to change him. Take him for who he is, or see rule #5.
  8. He is a gentleman. I taught him that. You better act like a lady and deserve that.
  9. I know how to avoid jail.
  10. If you weasel your way past all of these rules and fake your way to a ring on your finger, I will be something much worse than your boyfriend’s mum. I’ll be your mother-in-law!

Rules for dating my son: New version

  1. No, he is not. I hope, however, that you both understand the importance of supporting each other while you both study, train, progress and otherwise improve your education and employment or earning capacity.
  2. What you wear is not necessarily who you are. I hope I have raised my son to see past your outward appearance and to have chosen you because of the beauty of your soul.
  3. I hope both you and my son value and respect each other.
  4. I hope, when the time comes, I am able to respect my son’s decision and that he is mature enough to heed my advice but strong enough to make his own choices.
  5. I can’t, actually. Deception and secrecy have never been my forte. My son will know how I feel, but only he has the right to push you away.
  6. I love my son and I know he loves me. The time will come, however, when his need for me to lead and guide him is eclipsed by his need for someone to walk beside him and share his heart and his life as an equal. I hope when this time comes, I am able to recognise it and celebrate the man he has become.
  7. You are not in charge of him and yet his heart is yours for safe-keeping. I pray you bring out the best in each other and appreciate what makes you each unique. My son is not perfect, but neither are you—love each others imperfections.
  8. Yes, he is. I hope his respect for women ensures he stays like that, regardless of the behaviour of others. Whether or not you deserve him is not my decision to make. Love him with all your heart—nothing else matters.
  9. I don’t, really. Lying and deception have never been something I’m good at.
  10. I will be your mother-in-law. I will trust that the man I have raised has seen your heart and chosen you. I will do everything in my power to support you both as you support and uplift each other. If you make it to this point, I will be your mother and will welcome you as my daughter.

I look forward to meeting you. Love, the mother of five sons.          

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