Discover what relationship counselling involves, how it works, and whether it’s the right step for you and your partner. Learn how therapy can strengthen communication and rebuild connection.
From lavish engagements to the rise of promposals, extravagant public displays of affection dominate social media. In the digital age, we are constantly exposed to idealistic images of others, arousing social emotions like envy. Social media has redefined #CoupleGoals, creating an illusion of perfect relationships that can leave everyday Aussies feeling inadequate by comparison. The pressure to maintain a picture-perfect relationship can lead to unrealistic expectations, miscommunication and emotional distress.
In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining a healthy relationship requires continuous effort and open communication. Relationship counselling is often perceived as a last resort for couples in crisis; however, seeking professional guidance can be a proactive step towards strengthening your bond, even when things seem to be going well. By taking this step, couples can develop deeper emotional connections, learn constructive conflict resolution techniques and navigate significant life transitions together.
When should you consider relationship counselling?
It’s a common misconception that counselling is only for relationships on the brink of collapse. In reality, we often see couples attend counselling to enhance their connection and address minor issues before they escalate.
Proactively seeking counselling can help partners navigate changes, improve communication and deepen their understanding of each other. Think of this as an investment in one of the most health-and-happiness-promoting aspects of your life. Research tells us that couples in a healthy relationship tend to have longer life, decreased stress, greater heart health, better mood and a stronger immune system.
Signs that it might be time to seek support can include things like having frequent misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, major life transitions or even a feeling of emotional distance from your partner. Relationship therapy is also an incredibly helpful tool for couples who feel like they have grown apart over time or those who just struggle to communicate effectively with each other.
In addition, relationship counselling can support couples facing external stressors such as financial strain, work pressures or family-related issues. Some of the times of most need for support include a new baby, retirement or major health events. Even if a couple feels their relationship is stable, a little expert advice can still help strengthen their bond and build better ways to handle future challenges.
Just as people visit doctors for check-ups to stay on top of their physical health, relationship counselling can be a great way to maintain emotional wellbeing. Most people don’t wait until they have a major dental problem to see the dentist—they go for regular cleanings to keep their teeth healthy. The same idea applies to relationships.
Going to counselling doesn’t mean something is wrong; it just shows that both partners care about their connection and want to keep it strong. Getting support early on can help prevent bigger issues later and give couples the tools to build a happy, lasting relationship.
Choosing the right relationship counsellor
Selecting a counsellor who aligns with both (or more) partners’ values and needs is crucial. Consider factors such as the counsellor’s qualifications, experience and approach to therapy. Some counsellors may specialise in certain areas, such as communication techniques, conflict resolution or intimacy issues, so it’s worth discussing your needs beforehand.
It’s important to find someone who provides a safe, non-judgemental space where both partners feel heard and respected. A good fit between the couple and the therapist can make a significant difference in the success of counselling.
So, when researching potential counsellors, reading reviews, seeking referrals or having an initial consultation can help determine if they are the right choice. Some couples even prefer counsellors with a specific approach, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy, emotionally focused therapy or Gottman method therapy, depending on their unique needs and preferences.
Finding the right counsellor can make a big difference, because it ensures both partners feel comfortable and involved in the process.
What happens during a counselling session?
In the initial session, a counsellor will aim to get an understanding of the dynamics of your relationship, including its strengths and areas of concern. This involves open discussions about your history, communication patterns and any specific issues you’re facing. The counsellor may ask each partner to share their perspective and identify goals for therapy.
Subsequent sessions will usually focus on developing strategies to address these concerns, fostering healthier interactions, seeing all interactions as “bids for affection”, investing in the relationship “bank” and setting achievable relationship goals.
Counselling sessions may also incorporate practical exercises, role-playing scenarios or homework assignments designed to encourage reflection and practice outside of the therapy room. Some couples may engage in structured activities such as active listening exercises, where they practise expressing their feelings and needs without interruption, helping to build stronger communication skills.
Other sessions may involve conflict resolution techniques, where couples learn how to de-escalate arguments, identify underlying issues and work towards mutual solutions. Since every couple is different, each session is tailored to their unique needs and goals. Ultimately, these strategies will aim to help couples to communicate better, understand each other more and tackle challenges together.
How relationship counselling can help
Counselling offers a structured environment to explore and resolve conflicts. Unlike mediation, which focuses on dispute resolution, counselling delves into the underlying emotional and psychological factors affecting the relationship.
It’s not merely about discussing feelings; it’s about understanding each other’s perspectives, learning effective communication skills and building a resilient partnership. Counselling can help couples rebuild trust, strengthen emotional intimacy and develop problem-solving skills that foster a healthier relationship dynamic.
By working with a qualified professional, couples can gain insight into their behavioural patterns, uncover subconscious beliefs influencing their interactions and adopt new ways of relating to each other. Additionally, counselling can equip couples with long-term strategies for managing stress, addressing emotional triggers and maintaining a strong partnership.
Some couples even use counselling as a preventative measure, ensuring that they have the tools to maintain a happy, fulfilling relationship in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.
Cost, duration and structure of sessions
The cost of relationship counselling in Australia varies based on factors like location and the therapist’s expertise. The average session can cost anywhere between $150 and $350 depending on what is involved; however, the typical duration of a session will be around an hour.
The total number of sessions varies based on the complexity of the issues and the progress made. Short-term counselling might involve six to 12 sessions, while more extended therapy can exceed 12 sessions. Some couples prefer online sessions, like those offered at Online Psychologists Australia, as they provide flexibility for those with busy schedules or who are living in remote areas.
The frequency of sessions can also vary depending on the needs of the couple. Some may attend weekly or fortnightly, while others might space out sessions over several months.
In addition to face-to-face sessions, many therapists offer digital resources, self-help exercises and guided practices to help couples continue their progress between meetings. Ultimately, the cost and structure of relationship counselling depend on each couple’s unique needs, but with flexible options like online sessions and additional resources, support is more accessible than ever.
Investing in relationship counselling is also an investment in the future of your partnership. By addressing challenges early and developing effective communication strategies, couples can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
Seeking support is not a sign of failure but a commitment to growth, understanding and long-term happiness together. Regardless of the stage of your relationship, counselling can provide the guidance and tools needed to cultivate a deep, lasting connection.
When approached with an open mind and willingness to grow, relationship counselling can be a transformative experience that fosters resilience, emotional security and shared happiness.
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Why you should consider relationship counselling
