Learn how to confidently teach age-appropriate sex education at home and support your child’s healthy understanding of bodies, consent and relationships.
With kids exposed to the internet, media and peer conversations earlier than ever before, we need to be prepared to lead ongoing, age-appropriate conversations about sexuality, the human body and healthy relationships—starting from the earliest ages—even if it feels awkward.
It’s no longer a question of if we should talk about these topics. It’s a question of when and how.
Why early conversations matter
Research consistently shows that when parents lead the way in sex education, kids grow up more confident, more grounded and better equipped to make informed decisions. Waiting until they’re in secondary school or exposed to formal sex education programs is most certainly too late. One of the biggest reasons? Children are increasingly turning to the internet for answers.
Studies indicate that a shocking number of young people—some as young as six—are stumbling across pornography online. Exposure to sexual content online doesn’t just misinform, it can deeply influence how children view sexual activity and gender roles and even shape their future relationships.
What’s more concerning is the kind of “sex education” the internet provides. Instead of teaching respectful relationships, the internet often showcases violent, objectifying portrayals of sexual intercourse, creating unrealistic and harmful expectations for impressionable minds. Porn culture, school peer groups and even family members can often influence a child’s mind to see as normal things that are categorically unsafe, unhealthy and completely abnormal.
Melinda Tankard Reist, media commentator and renowned Australian advocator for women and girls, describes young girls assuming that violent sex is perfectly normal and even something that all men want. The education boys are receiving is that all women are sex addicts who cannot think about anything else and can’t help themselves. The notion that “boys will be boys” is detrimental to boys, dismissing all accountability, and also damaging to girls as they are expected to tolerate inappropriate behaviour from boys because “they’re boys”.
As mums, we can’t afford to wait and primary schools won’t prepare your child like only you can.
You are their first teacher
Whether we feel ready or not, our children look to us to make sense of the world—including the topics of sexual health and gender identity. Rather than avoiding the subject, we must embrace our role as their primary educators. Your voice matters more than any teacher, social media influencer or peer.
Start early by using simple, age-appropriate language to talk about the human body, reproduction and personal boundaries. Little moments, such as during bath time, while reading books or when answering curious questions, are the perfect opportunities to plant seeds of truth, value and safety.
Many parents find it helpful to set aside a “special space” in the home. In this safe, quiet area, kids can ask hard questions without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. It could be the couch, the dinner table or while on a walk. This kind of intentional space fosters trust and helps children view you as a trusted adult—someone safe enough to turn to in all seasons of life.
Sex education talking points by age
Here’s a general roadmap to guide you in starting the conversation:
Ages 3–6:
Use correct anatomical names for body parts. Begin teaching the concept of private parts and body safety. Teach body autonomy and the ability to say no. Reinforce that no-one is allowed to touch them without their approval and tell them what inappropriate touch is. Tell them they should never keep secrets from you. Introduce the idea that babies grow in a special place in a mother’s body and how they are born.
Suggested talking points:
- “Just like you have a nose and elbows, you also have private parts like a penis/vagina.”
- “The parts of your body that are by your swimsuit or underwear are private.”
- “Your private parts are special and not for others to see or touch. You’re the boss of your body. If anyone tries to touch your private parts or asks to see them, you should always tell me or another trusted adult.”
- “You can tell me if someone tries to touch you and it feels yucky or confusing, even if they say not to.”
- “Even if someone says it’s a secret, you can always tell me. I’ll never be mad at you.”
- “You’re allowed to say, ‘No, thank you,’ if you don’t feel like hugging, even family members. Your body is yours!”
Ages 7–10:
This is an ideal opportunity to introduce structured sexual education through storybooks or a guided series that aligns with your values. Books can explain the reproductive system, body changes during puberty and how babies are conceived, in an honest yet age-appropriate way. Talk about media literacy: Not everything they see online is real. Begin to address what healthy relationships look like and the importance of respect, kindness and responsibility. Gently correct misinformation and create a safe space for truth. Reassure them they can always talk to you.
Suggested talking points:
- “When two people are in a committed, loving relationship, they can choose to have a baby together. Sperm from the father and egg from the mother join to start a baby The baby grows in the mother’s uterus for about nine months before being born.”
- “You can ask me anything. We talk about things so you can get the right info.”
- “Sex is something grown-ups choose to do in the context of love and commitment, and it’s also how babies are made.”
- “If anyone ever makes you feel uncomfortable about your body or touches you in a way you don’t like, even if it’s someone you know, you can always come to me. I’ll always listen and help. Your safety matters more than anything.”
- “Consent means you always ask first and respect the answer. You also have the right to say no to anything that makes you feel weird or uncomfortable.”
- “Have you ever seen something online that made you feel weird or confused?”
- “There’s a lot on the internet that is harmful to both kids and adults. If you ever see something that feels uncomfortable, you can always tell me. You won’t get in trouble. I just want to help you understand what you saw.”
Ages 11–14:
Dive deeper into topics like sexual health, sexually transmitted infections, birth control, unwanted pregnancies and the emotional aspects of sexual activity. Normalise changes like menstruation, body odour, erections and mood swings. Children in this age group are likely being exposed to content from their peers, social media and school-based comprehensive sex education programs. Be proactive in providing balanced, values-centred information. Gently check what they’ve heard to clear up myths or pressure they may be feeling. Start building their framework for respectful relationships and emotional maturity. Talk honestly about digital boundaries, peer pressure and legal consequences. This is also a crucial time to address gender roles, sexual orientation and pressure to conform.
Suggested talking points:
- “What have you learned about puberty so far? Has anything surprised or confused you?”
- “Puberty is different for everyone. It’s not just about your body growing, your brain and emotions are growing too. Let’s talk about what you’re noticing.”
- “Do your friends ever talk about relationships or sex? What do you think about it?”
- “It’s normal to be curious. Not everything you hear is accurate or healthy, so I’m always happy to talk things through with you without judgement.”
- “What do you think a healthy relationship looks like?”
- “A good relationship means both people feel safe, valued and respected. No-one should feel pressured or confused. That goes for friendships, too.”
- “How would you handle it if someone asked for a nude photo or sent you one?”
- “You never ‘owe’ anyone photos. Not only is it illegal, but it’s not actually loving or caring for anyone to ask that from you. Many girls or boys can feel like their photos are safe, but more often than not, their photos are shared with others and can be put on porn sites. Let’s talk about how to handle those situations safely.”
Tips for parents:
- Don’t wait for them to ask. Be proactive—they might not know how to ask.
- Validate their feelings (even the awkward ones).
- Use pop culture (TV shows, lyrics, TikTok trends) to bring up hard topics naturally, like consent, STDs, etc.
- Clarify your family values while allowing room for their questions and development.
- Emphasise that your goal is to help them make informed, empowered and safe decisions.
Ages 15 and older:
Continue open dialogue. Encourage your teen to think critically about decision-making, intimate partner violence and the risks of unintended pregnancies. Help them envision their future: What kind of relationships do they aspire to have? How will they protect their heart, body and future? Open the door to honest, critical thinking about sexualised media and misinformation. Decision-making is a major part of a teenager’s life and they need a safe, non-judgemental space to truly hear and trust your guidance. The more supported they feel, the more likely they are to take your mentorship to heart.
Suggested talking points:
- “Have you felt pressure to be in a relationship or be sexually active?”
- “There’s so much pressure to grow up fast. But waiting isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. Your body and your heart matter too much to give away without deep trust and safety.”
- “What messages do you think social media or porn send about sex and relationships?”
- “What we see online doesn’t always reflect real intimacy. Porn, for example, shows a version of sex that often ignores respect, boundaries or feelings. What do you think is missing?”
Tips for parents:
- Don’t avoid hard topics—they’re already hearing them elsewhere—you get to frame them.
- Be honest about your own learning process. Vulnerability builds trust.
- Talk during drives, walks or while doing something. Teens often open up side-by-side more than face-to-face.
- Expect awkwardness—and do it anyway. Consistency is key.
- Celebrate their questions, doubts and values as signs of maturity.
Key messages for teens:
- You are more than your body. Your worth isn’t defined by attention, popularity or performance.
- Sex isn’t just physical. It can bond, wound, confuse or heal. That’s why it deserves boundaries.
- Waiting is powerful. It’s not old-fashioned—it’s thoughtful. It protects the future you.
- You can choose a different path. If you’ve made choices you regret, you’re not permanently broken. While there can be very real and painful consequences, there is always an opportunity to choose a better way.
- Real love honours, not pressures. You deserve to be seen, heard and respected—always.
The power of ongoing dialogue
Sex education isn’t a checkbox—it’s a lifelong conversation. What we’re really teaching our children isn’t just about anatomy or avoiding sexually transmitted infections. We’re giving them a framework for dignity, responsibility and flourishing. We’re preparing them to engage in gender equality, to resist gender-based violence and to live with purpose and integrity.
Children need to know the why behind your values. It’s not just about saying, “Don’t do this”, but explaining the bigger picture—how sexuality is connected to love, commitment, respect and purpose.
What if it’s too late?
Maybe your child has already seen something they shouldn’t have. Maybe they’ve already asked questions you weren’t ready to answer. Don’t panic. It’s never too late to step in and guide them. Ask open-ended questions, such as “Where did you learn that?” or “How did it make you feel?” and then truly listen.
Bring truth, grace and honesty into the conversation. Keep the doors open. Let them know you’re a safe place and no topic is off-limits. It’s never too late to help your child get back on the right track, process the harmful messages they’ve received and move forward.
A call to courage
Human sexuality is a special aspect of existence, but it can also be the cause of incredible pain. By starting early, staying engaged and teaching from a place of love and values, you can raise children who are informed, respectful and resilient. In a world where high rates of sexual confusion, trauma and misinformation are common, you can lead your family toward lower rates of regret and hurt.
Child sexual abuse is a tremendously big risk and it can come from family members, school and church leaders, and peers. Your children need you to prepare and protect them.
You don’t need a degree in adolescent health or public health—just be present, prepared and willing to have brave conversations. You can’t leave it to formal sex education at school because the reality is, it only scratches the surface and more often than not, does not reflect your family’s values.
At the end of the day, comprehensive sexuality education starts in your home—with you.
Read next:
- Teaching children about respect: New campaign pulls heartstrings
- Raising girls to understand consent
- Healthy relationships for teens: 9 red flags to watch
