Worried your kid may experience childhood trauma? Here are ways to identify problem areas and prevent them from affecting your child.
Childhood trauma is a crisis affecting millions of young children worldwide.
Historically, people think an incident has to be visibly abnormal, possessing malice intent with an incredibly horrendous effect for something to be categorised as trauma. However, trauma doesn’t always “look” like trauma. A toxic home doesn’t always look bad. A child predator doesn’t always appear creepy.
Being able to identify red flags and prevent abuse and trauma from happening is crucial in leading healthy and happy kids into adulthood.
What is childhood trauma?
Trauma includes the typical well-known traumatic events, such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, neglect and exposure to violence. It also includes things that are less commonly thought of as trauma.
Other prevalent forms of childhood abuse or trauma which are often not talked about can involve things such as
- being raised by a parent with a physical or mental illness
- losing a loved one
- being raised in a single-parent home
- being exposed to domestic violence
- having parents who are workaholics
- having limited access to basic necessities such as housing and food
- being involved in an accident, natural disaster or crime incident
- experiencing shaming (physical, mental or academic)
- living in a forceful, rigid and controlling home
- repeatedly being exposed to bullies
- experiencing triangulation (become a counsellor or surrogate spouse to a parent)
- family breakdown or divorce
- spiritual/religious fear tactics and control
- exposure to pornographic media
- living in foster care or with grandparents
- being adopted
- lack of loving connection and encouragement from parents.
While some of these may not seem like life-threatening experiences, they can disrupt a child’s sense of security. This is especially when no parent is available to provide support, soothing or a solution.
Young children are particularly vulnerable to traumatic events because their brains and stress response systems are still developing. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network emphasises that traumatic stress in children can manifest in various ways. These include anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms and behavioural problems.
These adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have profound and lasting effects on the mental health and overall wellbeing of children as they grow into adults.
The long-term effects of early trauma
Child abuse has far-reaching effects, impacting mental health, brain development and social behaviours. Science now shows that early trauma can alter a child’s brain structure and function, leading to chronic stress, impaired emotional regulation and increased risk for mental disorders later in life.
Traumatised children often display antisocial behaviours, substance abuse issues and have difficulty forming healthy relationships. For example, children exposed to family violence may replicate patterns of aggression or victimisation as adults, perpetuating a cycle of trauma. Emotional abuse and neglect can impair a young person’s ability to trust others, making it challenging to form secure attachments.
Adult depression, PTSD and anxiety all have direct links to childhood trauma. Traumatised children become traumatised adults, and the pain will undoubtedly affect their relationships, marriages, parenting and careers.
For men, trauma can often manifest in drug dependence, criminal activity, unemployment, violence and jail time. For women, it may look like self-harm, promiscuity, unstable and unsafe romantic relationships, and a high likelihood of living on social security.
Employment outcomes and financial stability are drastically altered when being raised in a traumatic home due to many reasons, such as mental health, social skills and a criminal record, but also due to education access and outcomes.
Studies show that children who experience trauma are at higher risk of injury, sexually transmitted infections, involvement in sex trafficking, teen pregnancy and pregnancy/foetal complications.
Effects on health
Children who experience trauma are at a higher risk of developing mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, PTSD and personality disorders as adults.
Chronic stress caused by childhood adversity also weakens the immune system and has been linked to long-term physical health disorders such as cancer, diabetes and heart disease.
Trauma has to and will come out in one way or another. The body cannot carry an unhealed injury indefinitely without breakdown in other areas. Suppressing or hiding a wound doesn’t make it go away. If someone doesn’t have an outlet to communicate the harm sustained and receive the validation and reassurance needed, the trauma may come out as hostile behaviour, chronic disease, mental illness or suicide.
Trauma causes intense emotional dysregulation and interpersonal difficulties. When the disturbing issues are not dealt with in one generation, they seep through into countless others, leading to the cycle of abuse, violence and poor health being perpetuated.
Traumatic experiences during childhood are a significant risk factor for impaired brain development. Chronic exposure to traumatic stress can hinder the growth of neural pathways involved in emotional regulation, memory and decision-making. These developmental disruptions often lead to higher levels of impulsivity, aggression and difficulty concentrating, and are even associated with disorders like ADHD.
The effects of childhood trauma do not dissipate with age. They become haunting remains of the childhood they cannot escape, no matter how far they run.
Early interventions and healing from trauma
Early interventions are critical in mitigating the effects of childhood trauma. The primary issue with trauma is not only limited to the event but the lack of support, soothing and healing that a child is offered afterwards. For one child, seeing their parent involved in an aggressive argument may not be traumatic due to it being the first and last event, with the parent clearly explaining the situation and reassuring the child. There was a solution to the issue and the safety was restored. However, for another child, the same event may be very traumatic, as there was no comfort offered, the event wasn’t discussed and everyone was expected to move on as if nothing had happened.
Prevention: How to avoid trauma
Prevention is the key with trauma. It’s far better to prevent something bad from happening than to deal with it after it has occurred. As a parent, the best way to avoid trauma is by processing your own trauma and becoming trauma-informed. This is best done with a mental health professional, such as a clinical psychologist specialising in childhood trauma.
Trauma has a way of feeling perfectly normal and this familiarity makes it dangerous. While you may not feel you’ve had trauma growing up, you may be perpetuating generational cycles of trauma within your own family without knowing it.
You do not want to settle for an average life with average mental and physical health and parenting. You deserve to be the healthiest, happiest, most balanced and most stable version of yourself, not just for yourself but also for those around you, especially your family.
When parents are healthy and mentally sound, they can provide a safe, engaged, loving and thriving home for their kids. When parents are not providing this, it is almost always due to mental or social issues.
For example, a parent who allows unsafe family members into their home may do so under the guise that they need to be supportive or that their child needs family. This causes their child’s safety to be breached. However, the parent unconsciously believes that the means justify the ends. If the unsafe family member is supported and eventually sorts their life out, then the suffering of the child is justified. Many parents would be horrified to think they are believers in this philosophy, however they live it out daily in their homes.
Treatment: What to do when trauma has happened
Trauma undoubtedly requires professional therapy. It is crucial for a child to have regular, consistent therapy sessions with a clinical child psychologist. Effective forms of therapy can include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR), and art and play therapy.
A child has to have their sense of self and identity restored or rebuilt after trauma. They have to learn healthy coping mechanisms, functional life skills, resilience and empowerment techniques to prevent trauma from happening again.
Your child deserves a childhood
So many children lose their childhood due to trauma and are forced into adulthood at very young ages. Parents cannot be passive about their child’s wellbeing. You must fight for it. You must protect and defend them with the vigilance and fierceness of a lioness.
Your choice to intentionally be the best version of yourself and supporting your children to be the best versions of themselves will dramatically alter their entire lives.
Childhood trauma and its long-term effects
