“If we could see tummy rolls and cellulite for what they are, normal and human, and allow them to simply just be.”
Motherhood changes everything: Your routine, your priorities, your relationships and often, your sense of self. For many women, one of the most confronting shifts after having a child is our body image.
The body that once felt familiar now feels foreign, maybe even unrecognisable. In a world saturated with social media images, appearance ideals and heavily edited images, perfection has been normalised and anything outside of that can cause intense body dissatisfaction for many, including mums.
Since becoming a mum, Instagram personality Bree Lenehan has been on a mission to shift our focus away from appearance-based validation towards body satisfaction and a healthier relationship with her body.
Finding acceptance
However, Bree’s journey towards loving her body and self-acceptance wasn’t straightforward. “I won’t lie, it’s been a rollercoaster,” Bree admits when asked about her attitude towards her body after giving birth.
Before pregnancy, she had a positive body image and felt at peace with her appearance. “My body had looked the same way for about five years and I was comfortable in that body,” she says.
Then came pregnancy, breastfeeding and postpartum changes. “In the past 12 months, I’ve gone from being heavily pregnant, to breastfeeding and having my body feel like a machine to feed my new baby, to stopping breastfeeding and gaining nine kilos,” she reveals.
“In the last year alone, I’ve experienced more versions of myself than I had in the last decade.”
Instead of resisting these shifts, Bree has learned to accept that her body is meant to evolve through different times and seasons. “My body is exactly the way it’s supposed to be for each of those seasons. Life has ups and downs, just like my body, and it’s important to lean into that rather than fight it.”
An important factor Bree feels many women need to adopt is to accept who they have become. “Let go of the girl you used to be, with all the time she used to have and know that this is growth, even if it doesn’t always feel like it,” she says. “And know that it gets better. You will feel like yourself again.”
Bree wants mums to remember that this season doesn’t define them, it’s simply one chapter. Most importantly, “accept help. Prioritise yourself,” Bree says simply, but powerfully.
Celebrating what your body does
“I think once you become a mum, it can make it both easier and harder to appreciate your body,” Bree says. “Easier because you experience firsthand just how incredible it is to create your favourite tiny human from scratch, but harder because it’s forever changed.”
Weight gain and changes in body shape or size are all part and parcel of becoming a mum. Society often frames these changes as problems to fix, rather than natural responses to pregnancy, birth and feeding a child.
“At the end of the day, I try to remember that if I were no longer here in the world, I would do anything to come back and love my family, laugh with my friends, sit in the sun and hold my son again,” Bree says. “I wouldn’t even care what body I came back in.”
Bree is a part of a movement advocating body neutrality: Respecting our bodies for keeping us alive, healthy and present.
“Having a body to experience life in is something to be thankful for. It keeps me alive, healthy, fights illness, creates life, takes me everywhere I want to go, lets me feel.”
Bree adds that our bodies will change as we age. “If I get to live a long life, my body is going to change no matter what, and I’ll wish I never let negative thoughts about my physical appearance hold me back from living life to the fullest.”
Redefining the “ideal woman”
The thin ideal promoted across social media and traditional media images continues to shape how people, especially young people and young women, view themselves.
“I’d love it if it were seen as beautiful to embrace our natural differences,” Bree says. “Like the fact that there’s a lump in the bridge of my nose and how that’s so unique to my face. For me, the goal would be seeing and embracing diversity, and how unique and human we all are.”
Using her social media platform, Bree often addresses how we often hide or edit certain features before posting anything online. “If we could see tummy rolls and cellulite for what they are, normal and human, and allow them to simply just be,” she remarks.
Rather than striving for one body type or appearance ideal, Bree believes we need to value inner qualities more. “We should be focused on how our inner sunshine radiates and who we are in our hearts, instead of chasing one ideal we look up to,” she says.
Comparison thrives in online spaces, especially when social interactions are filtered through highlight reels. Bree believes that genuine connection, not competition, is what helps women heal body image issues.
According to Bree, more women need to be on the same team. “Being able to relate to each other and cheer each other on is really empowering,” she says. “When women come together, it’s powerful.”
A message every mum needs to hear
In a world obsessed with appearance, weight, cosmetic surgery and unrealistic standards, Bree works hard to remind women, especially mums, how important they are, particularly to their children.
“You are your baby’s favourite face to see and favourite body to hold,” Bree says. “They don’t want anyone else. They just want you, exactly the way you are.”
As Bree points out, your child doesn’t care about your body shape, body weight or how your body looks compared to others. They care about your presence, your warmth and your love.
For the challenging days when she doesn’t feel confident or “good enough”, Bree “wear[s] comfy clothes, do my skincare, avoid mirrors, check social media less, go for a walk and do something just for me”.
It’s these small choices that help support mental health and reduce negative body image spirals. “Those small acts of grace and kindness make a huge difference,” she adds.
You can love yourself
Motherhood doesn’t ask women to shrink themselves, physically or emotionally. As Bree tries to remind her audience, building a healthy body image after having a child isn’t about chasing perfection, fixing perceived flaws or meeting appearance ideals shaped by social media. It’s about respect, gratitude and learning to exist in your body without constant judgement.
Whether you’re navigating weight gain, body dissatisfaction or rebuilding confidence after birth, your body is not the problem; the pressure placed on it is. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves and our children is showing them what a healthy relationship with our body truly looks like.
Read next: I used to hate my body—here’s what changed
Learning to love my body after giving birth
