Parenting preschoolers can be a wild ride, filled with excitement, milestones and a few challenges. Here are some essential dos and don’ts during this stage.
“I don’t like you anymore!”
If you have a child aged between three and five, you might have heard this yelled at you before. It could be a sign you are doing a good job because your child is probably responding to a limit you have set on their behaviour.
Early childhood is a time of rapid growth in both mind and body. It is a great opportunity for parents to establish important routines, set limits and nurture their children’s development. By the time your child is six, their brain will have quadrupled in size and reached 90 per cent of its adult volume. It’s the reason you get barraged with “why” questions on a daily basis.
This age group, often called the preschool years, is a critical period in a child’s life, laying the foundation for later success in school and beyond. Here are some essential dos and don’ts for raising happy preschool children.
The dos of raising a preschooler
The early years are a time of incredible growth and every day offers new opportunities for preschoolers to learn and develop. Parents play a crucial role in fostering this growth, especially in language development, social skills and fine motor skills. Basic concepts such as time limits, safe activities and respect for space are skills that will help them through life. Here are some ways to reinforce that.
Establish routines and limits
Young children thrive on structure. Establishing routines for daily activities, such as wake-up times, meal times, playtime and quiet time, helps your child feel more secure. These routines offer predictability, which is crucial during these early years of child development. They also help make transitions smoother.
While setting limits might seem challenging, it’s essential for a child’s development. Clear rules and consistent routines help preschoolers feel secure, fostering their ability to learn and grow. Boundaries form safe parameters and help your child know what to expect. When the limits are fair and consistent, they give them mental preparation to self-regulate and help them avoid the anxiety that can come with sudden changes.
Although your child will push back on limits, it’s not because they are malicious or trying to upset you. Testing limits is how they learn, and while their brain is experiencing rapid growth, their logic and wisdom have yet to catch up.
Encourage play-based learning and physical activity
As the famous child psychologist Jean Piaget said, “Play is the work of children.” Play is an essential part of early childhood education and it should encompass many different types, including physical play outdoors, imaginative play, group play and solitary play. Remember, it’s not them wasting time playing silly games; it’s them engaging in active learning and discovery of life and how the world works.
Physical play is especially important, as it not only helps with a child’s physical development but also promotes fine motor skills, social skills and language development. Take your preschooler to a local park or engage them in activities encouraging running, jumping and climbing. These types of physical activities support the development of muscles and coordination while also offering opportunities to practise new skills like taking turns and following rules.
Praise good behaviour and offer choices
Preschoolers are learning to navigate the world around them and they respond well to positive reinforcement. When your child demonstrates good behaviour, such as sharing toys or helping out around the house, be sure to offer specific praise. For example, “I’m proud of you for sharing with your friend today.” This little recognition greatly boosts their self-esteem and encourages them to continue developing positive habits.
Giving young children choices is another effective way to foster independence. Whether choosing what to wear or deciding between two healthy food options, allowing your child to make decisions helps them feel empowered without disrupting the overall routine.
Make quality time a priority
Spending time with your preschooler will build a strong bond and support their overall wellbeing. This isn’t about spending hours of time engaged with your child. Rather, it’s making sure the time spent engaging with them counts. When parents connect with their children through focused, meaningful interactions, children feel valued and secure. This one-on-one attention fosters emotional connection, strengthens their social skills and enhances language development. Quality time also creates a safe environment for preschoolers to explore new things, ask questions and practise problem-solving. Children will make attempts at connection throughout the day—try to be observant and respond to those cues. You’ll find that your child’s confidence and sense of identity will blossom.
Encourage healthy eating choices
Providing your child with healthy food is crucial during this stage of growth. Preschool children need balanced nutrition to fuel their development. Encourage healthy eating habits by offering various foods in their natural state, with lots of colours and different flavours to choose from.
Teach fine motor skills and support cognitive development
As preschoolers grow, they develop fine motor skills that allow them to perform tasks like drawing, using scissors and buttoning their clothes. Activities such as playing with building blocks or engaging in arts and crafts are excellent ways to promote these skills. These hands-on activities also support cognitive development by helping children learn basic concepts like shapes, colours and counting.
Teach language and social skills
Preschoolers are always listening and that can come in handy for their vocabulary. As a parent, the best way to support your child’s language development is by engaging with them in conversations, reading together and encouraging pretend play. These activities will help expand their vocabulary and build social and communication skills. During the preschool years, children develop empathy and learn to interact with peers. Structured playtime with older children or family members can also be an excellent opportunity for your child to practise social skills.
The don’ts of raising a preschooler
Preschool children thrive on stability, guidance and boundaries that foster a secure and nurturing environment. These common don’ts when raising preschoolers play a significant role in building a strong foundation for their future.
Be inconsistent
Inconsistency can confuse preschoolers. Children may become frustrated or anxious when parents set rules but fail to enforce them consistently. This will also affirm in your child’s mind that consequences are not real and that all rules can be broken without repercussions. Following through on limits teaches your child the importance of respect, structure and discipline.
Overlook the importance of outdoor play
Too much screen time can negatively impact a child’s development. Instead of relying on screens to keep your child occupied, prioritise outdoor activities that involve physical play. Preschool children benefit greatly from spending time in nature, from the calming effects on their mood to the general benefits of sunshine, fresh air and exercise.
Focus only on negative behaviour
While correcting unwanted behaviour is essential, focusing only on the negative can discourage your child. Try to balance correction with praise for the behaviours you want to see more of. For instance, instead of just saying “Don’t do that”, redirect your child’s attention to something positive they can do, encouraging their development of new skills.
Let your child set the rules
While offering choices is essential, letting your preschooler set all the rules can lead to problems. Parents must maintain the role of mentors, guardians and caretakers, setting clear boundaries and accountability. This teaches young children about respect, responsibility and self-control, skills that will be essential when they transition to primary school.
Reinforce negative habits
Children in this age group test limits, but giving too much attention to bad behaviour can reinforce it. If they have picked up inappropriate words or phrases and you laugh at them because you find it comical, they will take that as positive feedback. Calmly explain why their behaviour is unacceptable and what they can do differently next time. This shifts the focus off giving too much attention to the negative behaviour and helps to reinforce good behaviour.
When to seek early intervention
While many behaviours in the preschool years are typical, there are times when early intervention may be necessary. Before jumping to the conclusion that something may be wrong with your child, consider whether you are proactively supporting their development, as simple improvements or changes can make a huge difference.
If you notice your child is struggling with certain developmental milestones—such as difficulty with language development, fine motor skills or social interaction—it may be a sign they need additional support. Consulting with a paediatrician can help.
Raising happy preschoolers involves a balance of structure, encouragement and understanding. Parents can help their growing children develop the skills they need for a healthy and prosperous life by setting clear limits, establishing routines and promoting play-based learning. Remember, preschool is a time of exploration and discovery, so enjoy the ride as you watch your child learn and grow into a wonderful little human.
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