This Father’s Day, we asked dads to share the things about becoming a father that surprised them most. Buckle in, grab the tissues and settle in for a few honest insights into the world of dads.
There are some things you’ve probably already guessed, like having less money, less time and wondering whether you’re doing a good job. But then there are the parts of fatherhood that no-one really talks about: The moments that catch you completely off guard.
“I didn’t expect to feel so much overwhelming love.”
“I felt this when holding my daughter for the first time. I had loved so many people in my life to that point, but never realised the depth, intensity and immediacy of love this father could have when holding this incredible, fragile new person.
“She was perfect and I couldn’t understand how I could love her instantly, with every fibre in my body telling me she was now the most beautiful and important thing in my world. From that moment on, my every effort and emotion would be tied to her safety, happiness and wellbeing.
“Nothing has ever prepared me for the strength of that feeling. A very smitten dad,” said Pashaar, 45, a father of two.
You often hear parents talk about instant love, but until you’ve held your own tiny baby, it’s almost impossible to imagine what that feeling is like.
Not every parent experiences that connection immediately and that’s completely normal. But for many new dads, meeting their child changes everything. Priorities shift, perspectives change and suddenly someone else’s wellbeing becomes more important than your own.
Somehow, becoming a dad makes room in your heart for a kind of love you never knew existed.
“My priorities completely changed.”
“The realisation that my time and interests have shifted from thinking about me to thinking about how I can be the best dad and father for my children,” said David, 65, a father of four.
Before children, weekends might have been about hobbies, sleeping in or spontaneous adventures. Afterwards, quality time takes on an entirely different meaning.
Whether it’s kicking a football in the backyard, reading bedtime stories or cheering from the sidelines, many dads discover that the moments they treasure most aren’t the extraordinary ones—they’re the ordinary ones.
Research continues to show that involved fathers have a profound impact on their children’s lives. While mums are often recognised for the countless hours they pour into parenting, dads also shape their children’s confidence, resilience and sense of security simply by being present.
Sometimes being a good dad isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about consistently showing up.
“No-one prepares you for the responsibility.”
“The greatest unexpected thing I faced when I became a dad was the responsibility. Until my daughter was born, I had no clue how much responsibility was required. I had to be conscious of and help her with a host of things ranging from health, education, food, shelter, mind and emotional maturity, spirituality and future planning.
“It isn’t real until you first hold your own child in your arms. Then it’s real, but also the most special thing a human can experience in their life. Overall, it’s so amazing that the responsibility aspect actually becomes a positive,” said George, 56, a father of three.
No parenting book can fully prepare someone for the responsibility of raising another human being. Being responsible for a child’s health, education and future can feel overwhelming, especially for new fathers.
At first, that responsibility can feel enormous. Over time though, many dads say it becomes one of the most meaningful and rewarding parts of raising a family.
Raising children isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about learning alongside them, making mistakes, apologising when needed and trying every day to be a good example.
Even the best parents don’t get everything right. What matters most is showing up with love, patience and a willingness to keep learning.
“I wasn’t prepared for how much life would change.”
“Being poor all the time, it was an emotional rollercoaster and not enough time for self anymore. The strain of supporting a family of five in the city on a single income was immense. The whole family helped to overcome this by being paid to clean our local church twice weekly, which contributed to the payment of school fees.
“Children also bring a range of emotions to a family, as well as a range of stresses and strains, which was an emotional rollercoaster at times. And with no direct family in close proximity to our young family, babysitters were in scarce supply when couples’ time was needed,” said Hilton, 70, a father of three.
Not every surprise is wrapped up in beautiful emotions. Sometimes, becoming a parent means learning to stretch the family budget a little further, surviving on less sleep and accepting that uninterrupted showers become a luxury. There are the worst nappies, the endless washing, the toys covering every surface and the days when everyone is exhausted.
For many men, the adjustment can be enormous. Whether you’re welcoming your first baby or navigating life with a second child, parenthood asks you to put someone else’s needs before your own. It can be difficult, emotional and, at times, incredibly tiring.
More than they ever expected
Looking back, many dads say the best time in their lives wasn’t marked by career milestones or personal achievements, but by the everyday moments spent watching their children’s lives unfold.
The biggest surprises weren’t the sleepless nights or the financial pressure. They were the moments no-one warned them about.
Hearing their darling baby girl laugh for the first time.
Realising their priorities had quietly changed.
Feeling fiercely protective of the little people who now depended on them.
Watching young children grow into kind, capable people.
Discovering that the simple, everyday moments often become the good things they remember most.
While parenting has certainly changed since previous generations, one thing hasn’t: Kids need dads who love them, guide them and believe in them. Perhaps that’s what being a good father is really about.
Not being perfect, not having all the answers, just being there.
So this Father’s Day, we celebrate all the dads, grandfathers, stepdads and father figures who show up every single day. Thank you for the bedtime stories, the terrible jokes, the school drop-offs, the backyard adventures and the reassuring pats on the back.
Perhaps that’s the biggest surprising thing about becoming a father: The moments you never expect often become the ones you’ll treasure forever.
Happy Father’s Day!
Stuck for words? Our free Father’s Day questionnaire will provide the prompts and laughs.
Dads tell us the most unexpected things about fatherhood
